Couples Conflict Resolution

10 Things to Avoid


A big part of having successful relationships is communications – both verbal and nonverbal.  When arguments occur, there is a tendency to make broad, general statements or retorts, or employ other tactics to protect yourself or gain an advantage.  When this happens, the conversation usually goes south quickly, and one-up’s-man ship becomes the pattern of conversation.

To make sure this doesn’t happen, there are a number of strategies couples can use.  Here are 10 things to avoid that can contribute to conflict.  Can you think of others?


1)      Avoid over-generalizations

2)      Avoid bringing up the past

3)      Avoid labels or name calling

4)      Avoid facial expressions that convey negative reactions (e.g., eye rolling)

5)      Avoid body language that displays distance

6)      Avoid anger, being loud and negative tones

7)      Avoid sarcastic remarks

8)      Avoid “hit and run” tactics (remarks)

9)      Avoid criticizing each other

10)    Avoid being judgmental


Copyright © 2008 Emmett I. Aldrich.  All Rights Reserved.  Permission is granted to reproduce copy or distribute part or this entire article with attribution to the author. 



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